Why can't life be better for me?

O god... i'm crying.. i juz had a fight with my fren.. we juz chat, u know.. n suddenly i juz told him abt my family problem.. i dunno y.. mayb cuz i was juz sad n my frens r all offline.. N he maked fun of it.. I was juz so angry, when i tought abt my mum n dad.. who r juz tired but still need to overcome this family hardship.. Everybody's life is precious u know.. I juz can't stand some1 when they insults the value of ppl's life.. NO! We r ALL a community! How can u say tat a malay's life has less value than a chinese's? Everybody IS EQUAL.. I was juz so angry n pissed off.. N i started to cry n hurl abuses at him.. I juz thought of all the things tat had happened this past weeks.. It was.. hell.. I felt like those few weeks r not worth going through.. I know, it's all my damn brother's fault. He digged out all this things n problems for us.. God.. do u really treat us like Your children? Y aren't You there when i needed You? I'm juz so angry n sad right now.. I know, it's my bro's fault, n it has nth to do with my fren... But i can't help it.. I feel so sry now.. sry for doing n saying all those things i know the Devil drove me to.. I really hope some1 will come n punish me now.. for all the evil things i've done..